Author Archives: Jill Snively

In Search of Personal Insight and Direction

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On December 12th my mother, who was 101, died. She left this world with grace and peace, much the way she had lived.  Since I had moved her to Pennsylvania in 2005 from Florida, a significant amount of my free time had been spent taking care of necessities for her and simply being with her. With the memorial service behind me and most of the necessary paperwork out of the way, I began to feel the nudge to uncover the next phase of my life.  Not certain what that meant or how it would look I decided to connect with a Life Coach. The preliminary reflection work she gave me revealed that I needed, and wanted,  to de-clutter and organize several aspects of my personal environment. Because my creative endeavors have taken a back seat the past two years and I am missing it greatly, I knew I needed to start on the “sitting room” that became my art room eight years ago and now, due to neglect, is a paradise of disorganized fabric, paint, yarn, beads, clay, books, and all the supplies. I’ll stop short of using the word “hoarding.”

I know that if there is clutter and disorganization around me I cannot focus or be creative.  A few weeks ago I cleaned out my bathroom drawers of all those old make-up samples and unused cosmetics.  It allowed me to have a counter top free of contact solution, moisturizers, and tooth paste because now it is all organized in the freed up drawers.  The accomplishment felt wonderful and it motivated me to tie into the “sitting room.”  Although, deep down I knew this was a much more demanding challenge.  So far I have spent five hours on this project and at the moment you can’t walk across the room safely.  Two hours were spent putting together a shelf unit for storage.  It took three tries to get one of the shelves facing in the right direction.  The next three hours were spent going through everything, throwing away unwanted items and bagging up donations.  I have now reached the hard realization that this project cannot move further until I clean out the crawl spaces and the free standing wardrobe to make room for these items to be stored out of sight.  Trust me, this is all a needed process, but it is also why I have avoided it for several years. I have to keep the eye on the prize.  I conjure up that feeling I will have when the space is freed, items are  stored out of sight, I can find what I want because it has a proper home and I can enjoy a creative endeavor without frustration. If you are looking for some motivation and guidelines to help you organize and de-clutter here is a helpful link:

Become A Clean Person This Year In 10 Steps

This is all symbolic of our lives that get encumbered by misplaced issues and emotions, bogged down with tasks and commitments that no longer align with our values until we feel as if we are wandering, not sure of our direction and purpose.  Cleansing our surroundings and implementing organization is a beginning in our search for personal insight and direction.

Vulnerability: Reframing a Scarcity Mindset

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I recently began reading the latest book, and now a best seller, by research professor and imagesCAVLCCEZsociologist, Brene’ Brown, “Daring Greatly.”  The book title comes from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, “Citizenship in a Republic” delivered in Paris on April 23, 1910.  The line referenced says, “…there is no effort without error and shortcoming…if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.”  Dr. Brown says in her introduction that this quote spoke what she had been researching for a decade and that is, vulnerability.  She states, “Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, its understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging.  It’s being all in.”     She goes on to explain, “Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face everyday are not optional.  Our only choice is a question of engagement.”

 Her latest book looks at why we fear vulnerability, how we protect ourselves from it, what price we pay for that protection, and how we can own and engage with vulnerability in order to change how we live, love, parent, and lead.  She looks at the “why we fear vulnerability” by examining the concept of scarcity.  She sees a culture of scarcity at play.  It is the “never enough” mindset.  Never good enough.  Never perfect enough.  Never thin enough.  Never wealthy enough.  Never safe enough.  Lynne Twist in her book, “The Soul of Money,” writes, “Our first waking thought of the day is, ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ Then, ‘I don’t have enough time.’  She says, “We will spend most of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of.  Before we even sit up in bed…we’re already behind, already losing, already lacking something.  We go to sleep burdened by those these thoughts.”

 Worrying about scarcity doesn’t pull us together for healing (which requires vulnerability).  Worrying about scarcity creates anger, fear, shame, and disengagement.  Being afraid and negative is second nature.  We find this in the family, work, school, and community.  Rather than taking vulnerable risks to find solutions and challenge the climate of scarcity we blame and find fault. Brown believes that the opposite of scarcity is not “abundance.”  Instead, the opposite of scarcity  is “enough” or “wholeheartedness.”  She states, “The core of this is vulnerability and worthiness:  facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risk and knowing I am enough.”  It is not about being perfect or extraordinary.  It is about being enough and worthy.  It is about having enough and embracing that.

When I reflect on this condition of negativity which focuses on what is lacking both in ourselves and the community, I am reminded of a personal discipline that many people have found enriching; a gratitude journal.  It is a very simple activity in which every evening before bedtime you write three things for which you are grateful.  They can be elaborate or simple. The activity allows you to redirect thoughts and perspectives to a more positive framework; to be mindful of the positives and the concept that there is “enough.” A similar activity is a gratitude jar.  There are various approaches and websites for this activity.  Basically, everyday throughout the year you write a gratitude and place it in the jar.  On days when you are struggling, you can pull a gratitude out of the jar and be encouraged.  Writing gratitudes disciplines us to look beyond scarcity to what is enough. Acting out of gratitude strengthens us to be vulnerable and to take risks. Being open to gratitude and vulnerability steers us away from the defeating mindset of scarcity.

Be aware of your resistance.  It may be your conditioning to old habits and your fear of joy.    My next article will continue this discussion from “Daring Greatly” and will look at foreboding joy.

There are many websites for gratitude activities.  Here are two:   

     www.thegratitudejar.com   A website to share and view others’ gratitudes.

     www.sunshineandsippycups.com/2013/01/how-to-create-a-gratitude-journal    A creative website that gives prompts for a jar and a journal.

 

Healing Emotional Wounds

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I never fail to be enchanted this time of the year; this seasonal transition from winter to spring.  The ground is giving birth to green. Crocus are sprouting and opening with purple and yellow.  Daffodils are encased in their green cocoons waiting to burst open.  Tulips are pushing above ground still hiding their treasure. Mystery plants begin to peek above earth’s crust.  What is even more fascinating requires a closer look.  From the trees and shrubs which appear barren and dry, are buds pushing to life.  From what seems lifeless is about to push forth green leaves and lush blossoms.  What is silent is about to scream with life.  Into the still cold air there is a movement towards the sun.imagesCA0JKHZ5

I am inspired by this process because it speaks of hope and symbolizes our own human journey.  As the plants have had to withdraw for winter renewal, we too need to withdraw from time to time when we are wounded. 

“It is human nature to withdraw when we are wounded… (but) we have to return to life above ground at some point.  At some point we have to turn off the instinct to flee and properly tend to the wound; courageously exploring thoughts and feelings attached to them.  This begins the task of waking after the long winter.”   

                          –Kim Johancen-Walt, LPC, Counseling Today, April 2013  

 As the buds brave the cold air of early spring in order to bloom, we also need to take risks, armed with hope and vision, and step into the sunlight.  The sunlight reveals the wounds as well as the possibilities.  There we find the hope and the strength.

 

Getting the Jump on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

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What is Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Seasonal Affective Disorder, known as SAD, is a depression that occurs the same time every year. Both children and adults can experience the symptoms.  Most people experience the effects from autumn through winter.  There are a minority who are challenged by the symptoms in early spring or summer.  The symptoms of the winter depression may include:  depression, hopelessness, anxiety, loss of energy, weight gain, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal, lack of interest and enjoyment of activities, increased desire for carbohydrates, and increased sleeping time.The symptoms for the spring/summer affective disorder may include anxiety, trouble sleeping, irritability, agitation, weight loss, and poor appetite. 

 

It is not unusual to have “down” or “irritable” days but when it persists for numerous days and weeks, and coincides with seasonal change, it is beneficial to take an inventory of recent years and similar patterns. You may find a repetition occurring. Students’ grades may drop, attention decreases, work productivity is diminished, projects are an effort, and there is a general feeling of hopelessness and unrest. It is important to first rule out possible physical conditions. Consult your physician and be sure to arrange routine blood work.  Thyroid imbalances, for example, can cause depression or anxiety depending on the condition.

 

Why does Seasonal Affective Disorder occur?

 

Focusing this answer on the fall/winter form of SAD since it has the highest occurrence, there are several possible reasons.  The reduced amount of sunlight disrupts the internal clock in human beings. This causes a disruption in the circadian rhythm thus leading to depression, low energy, and reduced productivity. Circadian rhythm refers to the biological process that is present in all living creatures including plants. While the rhythms are “built-in” they are adjustable by external conditions such as sunlight.                                          See: www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circadian_rhythm .

 

Another explanation for the occurrence of Seasonal Affective Disorder is a drop in the brain chemical, serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter that affects mood. Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin levels which triggers depression. Similarly, melatonin, a natural hormone in the body, can drop in its level with seasonal change. This then affects sleep and mood.

 

Is treatment important and what are the options?

 

There are various degrees of Seasonal Affective Disorder and it can fluctuate depending on the individual and the surrounding conditions. For example, long periods of grey days coupled with lowered self-esteem from decreased productivity and social isolation can lead to a serious mental state that requires immediate attention. These serious states can include suicidal thought, substance abuse, social withdrawal, and difficulties at school and work. Treatment to prevent these conditions is important and needs to be taken seriously.  Many individuals and physicians are not proactive in treating the condition, waiting until they are into the throws of the symptoms. If you can imagine being in a well.  The deeper you are in the well the more time and energy it takes to get out.  However, if safe guards are put in place beforehand it can prevent the plummet. Most important is to start treating the depression when you realize it is hindering your daily living.

Here are some suggestions for treatment:

  • Grab time in the sun when it is shining. Get fresh air. Exercise. Eat healthy.
  • Discuss an anti-depressant with your physician in the early fall and begin taking it before the SAD symptoms become obvious to you. These anti-depressants may include Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, and Effexor. Be patient if you have to try a couple before finding the right one for you. It is important to be in discussion with your physician during this time.
  • To correct sleep disturbances a natural Melatonin supplement may be beneficial. Be sure to purchase a high quality supplement and to take it as suggested.
  • Introduce “Light Therapy” into your daily routine. The proper light box resets the circadian rhythm that has been disrupted by the reduced sunlight.  It is often used on a daily basis for a short period of time each day. People discover results in anywhere from 3-5 days to two weeks. Again, it is important to begin these treatments as early into the season as possible for the most benefit. Some individuals use them all year.  Be sure to buy a truly beneficial light box for the treatment of SAD. This is not a time to reach for what is the least expensive only to find it isn’t helping to relieve the symptoms. A great informational website on light therapy is www.psycheducation.org/depression/LightTherapy.htm. Take the time to do the inquiring. I have been impressed with the research and information provided by the Center for Environmental Therapeutics, www.cet.org/eng/Index_ENG.html .  CET provides a wide array of insight on SAD. They also have a research division that provides information on how to use light therapy, preferred brands, types of lights and self assessment tools at www.chronotherapeutics.org. On their site they recommend “The Daylight Simulator” by Uplift Technologies, Inc.
  • Utilize the professional services of a mental health provider. A Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), a Psychologist (PsyD) or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) are examples of the professions who can give you support as well as techniques to get you through the difficult time of depression or anxiety.

 

Conclusion

 

We are at that in-between seasonal time. Our internal gauge isn’t sure whether to let go of summer and slide into autumn or to grasp onto the last bits of warm weather ignoring what is around the corner. It may seem to be an odd time for discussing Seasonal Affective Disorder but for those who experience the symptoms it is the perfect time to begin being proactive and designing your plan for the winter months ahead.

 

Additional Resources:

www.mayclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002499/