I recently began reading the latest book, and now a best seller, by research professor and 
sociologist, Brene’ Brown, “Daring Greatly.” The book title comes from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, “Citizenship in a Republic” delivered in Paris on April 23, 1910. The line referenced says, “…there is no effort without error and shortcoming…if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.” Dr. Brown says in her introduction that this quote spoke what she had been researching for a decade and that is, vulnerability. She states, “Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, its understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” She goes on to explain, “Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face everyday are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement.”
Her latest book looks at why we fear vulnerability, how we protect ourselves from it, what price we pay for that protection, and how we can own and engage with vulnerability in order to change how we live, love, parent, and lead. She looks at the “why we fear vulnerability” by examining the concept of scarcity. She sees a culture of scarcity at play. It is the “never enough” mindset. Never good enough. Never perfect enough. Never thin enough. Never wealthy enough. Never safe enough. Lynne Twist in her book, “The Soul of Money,” writes, “Our first waking thought of the day is, ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ Then, ‘I don’t have enough time.’ She says, “We will spend most of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of. Before we even sit up in bed…we’re already behind, already losing, already lacking something. We go to sleep burdened by those these thoughts.”
Worrying about scarcity doesn’t pull us together for healing (which requires vulnerability). Worrying about scarcity creates anger, fear, shame, and disengagement. Being afraid and negative is second nature. We find this in the family, work, school, and community. Rather than taking vulnerable risks to find solutions and challenge the climate of scarcity we blame and find fault. Brown believes that the opposite of scarcity is not “abundance.” Instead, the opposite of scarcity is “enough” or “wholeheartedness.” She states, “The core of this is vulnerability and worthiness: facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risk and knowing I am enough.” It is not about being perfect or extraordinary. It is about being enough and worthy. It is about having enough and embracing that.
When I reflect on this condition of negativity which focuses on what is lacking both in ourselves and the community, I am reminded of a personal discipline that many people have found enriching; a gratitude journal. It is a very simple activity in which every evening before bedtime you write three things for which you are grateful. They can be elaborate or simple. The activity allows you to redirect thoughts and perspectives to a more positive framework; to be mindful of the positives and the concept that there is “enough.” A similar activity is a gratitude jar. There are various approaches and websites for this activity. Basically, everyday throughout the year you write a gratitude and place it in the jar. On days when you are struggling, you can pull a gratitude out of the jar and be encouraged. Writing gratitudes disciplines us to look beyond scarcity to what is enough. Acting out of gratitude strengthens us to be vulnerable and to take risks. Being open to gratitude and vulnerability steers us away from the defeating mindset of scarcity.
Be aware of your resistance. It may be your conditioning to old habits and your fear of joy. My next article will continue this discussion from “Daring Greatly” and will look at foreboding joy.
There are many websites for gratitude activities. Here are two:
www.thegratitudejar.com A website to share and view others’ gratitudes.
www.sunshineandsippycups.com/2013/01/how-to-create-a-gratitude-journal A creative website that gives prompts for a jar and a journal.
