It is a well documented fact that the “Holiday Season” is the most stressful time of the year for many people living in the United States.  Despite the messages of “cheer” and “joyfulness” many individuals experience increased depression, anxiety, and stress.  The reasons for this are varied.  Recent losses of significant friends and family through death, divorce and separation or relocation increases one’s feelings of loneliness and isolation.  Those feelings stand in conflict with the holiday message of togetherness and gathering. Financial pressures are another reason individuals experience heightened anxiety and hopelessness.  The commercial message of the holiday is to purchase even when it is beyond our means.  The economic situation many are facing today is only increasing this source of stress and desperation. Meeting expectations for perfection that we impose on ourselves add to the whole layered affect of this season.  Somewhere in our inner depths we believe our homes need to be perfectly cleaned and decorated, tons of cookies baked, social activities abounding, and every gift on the list bought and wrapped.

I’m not stating anything we don’t already know and haven’t heard a thousand times. Yet, year after year, we repeat the process.  Instead of experiencing a joyful season, we secretly wait for it to be over.  We close our eyes and hold our breath. We try not to scream.  We buffer ourselves against a melt down (or fantasize about a melt down that will remove us from it all.)  Natalie Goldberg said,

Stress is basically a disconnection from earth, a forgetting of the breath.

How do we reconnect with the earth?  I suggest pausing to remember who we care about in our lives and then find meaningful ways to be with those people. We need to recall our values…what is truly meaningful and valuable.  It is important to be realistic as to what we have, what we can give, and what we can do. Then celebrate that we can. We need to be creative, think outside the box, pull ourselves away from the throngs and do it differently.

How do we breathe?  We breathe by pausing.  We find our breath when we sit down and listen. We find our breath when we take time to laugh.  We find our breath when we relax and become quiet.

Try this mental exercise….When you are in the midst of a stressful holiday moment, freeze frame that moment with you in it, and ask yourself, “Is this how I want to remember myself?”  “Does this moment represent who I truly am on this earth?”  And then, take a long slow breath……  Feel your body move with the breath…… Feel your body relax with the exhale…… Hear your breath…… Be mindful of your connection to the earth and the important role you play…… Expect change.